Chaos
by Fantasie in D Minor
Summary: A certain, curious redhead always means trouble for the poor Cid! And when I say always...I mean always. As in every time, on every occasion, without exception...always.
1. Impulse

**Disclaimer: **I do not own FFVII or any of the sequels/prequels.

**Intro: **This will be a collection of one-shots revolving around Cid's and Reno's interactions XD Whatever interesting idea comes to mind, I'm going to put to the test with these two colorful characters.

**Impulse **

If one were to ask Cid Highwind how the pilot was fairing on October 30th, 1992 at 4:13 p.m., the answer would have been an undeniable "don't talk to me and don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong" followed by a _sweet_ "fuck you" added for good measure. That _politeness,_ however, didn't faze one by the name of Reno…Reno of the Turks to be exact. Of course, if one were to get even more technical, Reno was the soul reason for Cid's especially _pleasant _disposition to begin with.

Two weeks before that fateful day, October 30th, Cid got the go ahead from the President to build his rocket. The pilot's life-long dream of traveling to space was gradually materializing. The first day of construction was set for—as redundant as I'm being it's the absolute truth—October 30th (surprise, surprise). Unfortunately for Cid, and the rest of his crew, the Turks were—rather inconveniently—in Rocket Town on that exact date, October 30th.

Not knowing such an inconvenience existed, Cid showed up for work that morning in unusually high spirits. He _blessed _the younger engineers with only one "fuck" within the first hour, and _baptized_ the planner as a "moron" only twice within the first three hours. He even apologized for using "shit" to describe his annoyance at the tip of his ever-present, ever-lit cigarette burning the pale skin of one of his fingers. This was rather large progress for a man who uses "fuck" as a sentence transition, "shit" to describe any unfortunate object that happens to be necessary for one thing or another, and "moron" to illustrate the mental capacity of any human being who happens to be within a radius of 100 feet.

As fate would have it, however, all good things come to an end. The uplifting atmosphere was dying by 2:19 p.m. and was completely eliminated by 3:00. Reason? Reno's curiosity overcame his common sense (or the lack thereof) and pushed the red-head to explore the work sight. The Turk still swears that all his actions were impulsive, and Cid still tells him that if he can't control impulses he should see a psychiatrist; but as a humble author I'm simply laying out the facts. The fact of the matter is that after exploring the grounds filled with scattered metal plates, Reno stopped for a smoke…right in front of a tank filled to the rims with petroleum.

The Turk lit his cigarette at 2:30 p.m., by 2:33 he threw the half-lit cancer stick back over his shoulder (back where the tank stood), and by 2:34 all the somewhat built inner cabins of the rocket ship lay in their original states(mainly thin metal sheets) scattered all over the grounds, albeit a bit burnt. In the middle of the chaotic scene stood a frozen Reno.

Before you ask, yes—Cid did try to choke the red-head, and yes—Reno did almost suffocate, and yes—the two were dragged apart before anything truly fatal happened. The red-head was thrown out and banned from the construction zone, while Cid was ordered by the planner (as a chastised child) to go cool of in the corner…I mean, bar.

&&&

From that fateful date of October 30th, 1992 whenever Cid hears the mention of the 'devil's offspring' he can't hold in the customaryexclamation: "He is a treasure, that one!" The pilot claps his hands together and feigns melodrama. "Such a treasure, in fact, that from the bottom of my forgiving heart I would like to wish him a very short life and long years of exile."

**Author's Note:** Thanks for reading and I hope you've enjoyed! XD


	2. Lack of Common Sense

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Prequels/Sequels/Final Fantasy VII.

**Intro: **This would be the second installation of how horribly Reno bothers Cid XD Hope you enjoy!

**Lack of Common Sense**

Cid's normally rather pale face was growing red at an alarming rate. Considering the pilot's lack of vanity, that was not a particularly dramatic thing; but also taking into account the blonde's exponentially increasing irritation accompanied by the clenching and unclenching of his fists, the situation did not bode well for anyone within the radius of a few hundred miles. Actually, it so happened that the _only_ person within such a distance was Reno.

"You pathetic ingrate!" Cid's outraged cry echoed through the snow-covered terrain of the Great Glacier making Reno buff up almost immediately. That's right, ladies and gentlemen; the duo was on the Great Glacier…with a crashed ship…and no other means of transportation…and no PHS. The list of what necessities the two ShinRa employees lacked does not end there by any means, however, cataloging all the rest of those needs that weren't met would take a hell of a lot of space and time; therefore, I'll withhold (simply for the reader's benefit).

"I…" Reno, wisely enough, decided not to voice the protest he was beginning to formulate and instead closed him mouth with a drawn out sigh. As you might have guessed, the predicament was achieved through _no_ fault of Reno's (please note the heavy sarcasm).

"You what? Can't use your brains? Or are they missing in general from that fucked up head of yours?" Reno shot the pilot a death glare and promptly dropped to a sitting position on the sterilized, snowy ground.

"Aren't we chatty today!" Reno gushed sarcastically. "Careful geezer. With all this talking, your prosthesis might pop out." Describing that comment as simply cheeky would be an understatement, as Cid would attest. The pilot was only thirty eight; and as far as his teeth were concerned, he didn't need a fucking prosthesis. Cid growled predatorily and turned away from the devil's offspring, exhibiting spectacular amounts of control over his reflexive, homicidal urges.

"Well, at least I'm not impotent." The blonde mumbled to himself, fully expecting Reno to catch the softly spoken words.

"Wherever did you get that from, my bitchy friend?" Reno perked up. The pilot didn't deem it necessary to face the red-head when he spoke up again.

"From the fact that your balls are going to freeze before you get enough brain power and get your fucking ass up off the snow." Reno jumped up immediately. The idea of impotency was certainly not too appealing, but, as Reno found second later, seeing Cid smirking evilly at the delight of his own victory, wasn't a much better option.

"I'd still like an explanation, brat." Cid switched topics promptly while trying to hide his amusement at the scrambling Turk, but failed miserably.

"Are you sure your ears are working well enough to hear me, gramps?" The red-head shot back bitterly.

"I don't know about my ears, but my legs are simply itching to kick your ass over the ledge of this mountain." Reno rolled his eyes and concentrated his somewhat wondering attention on Cid.

"What explanation?"

"Why the fuck you deemed it necessary to dump a bucket of water onto 'Highwind's' control panel?" Reno grinned sheepishly at the fuming pilot. Apparently through the passage of that last sentence the blonde decided to build himself up to a climax and was now about to strangle a certain i wonder /i by the name of Reno.

"The aforementioned panel burst into flame?" Reno tried defensively, but ended up with a question rather than a definitive statement. Cid could only gape with his eye starting to twitch involuntarily.

"You moron! There were no flames. I lit the fucking buttons because I couldn't see what I was pressing!" Reno backed a few steps away.

"I was facing away…and then it all started glowing…I just assumed…" Reno trailed off uncertainly.

"And did it register even for second that dumping water on an _electric_ control panel would cause more trouble than, for instance, using a fucking extinguisher?" Reno opened his mouth, but nothing came out. It really didn't register.

&&&

Three hours later Cid still persisted on pacing around the small landing space that the duo were stranded on with a plethora of insults rolling off his lips, directed at none other than Reno. For his part, the Turk was standing off towards the edge en guard with comically widened eyes, in case Cid decided to quit his verbal lashing and pounce.

The unfolding scene was, however, rudely interrupted by a ringing sound that seemed to have been emanating from Reno's butt. Cid froze mid step and glanced over at the red-head. The other blanched, making his scars stand out even further from the pale color of his flesh. The Turk slowly, almost fearfully, reached into the back pocket of his pants.

"You dumb fuck!" With something akin to a war cry Cid launched himself at Reno, who dropped the item in question, which was flimsily held with the red-head's grasp, and bolted off towards the nearby forest…closely followed by an enraged Cid.

The only things left in the clearing were the broken, manhandled 'Highwind' and a grey, almost completely innocent, PHS.

**Author's Note: **Thanks for the wonderful review, I'm glad you've enjoyed the first installation XD Hope this one didn't disappoint you! Please R&R!


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